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| have been wanting to update for awhile, but.. hehe.. too lazy to..
29th now, 2more days and then 2008.. have been longing for 2008 not sure y.. hahaha.. maybe 2008 sounds better.
been thru a lot in 2007.. esp nov-dec: birthday, graduation, marriages, death, birth all in a few weeks time. I've smiled, laughed, cried and touched; now, i don't even know what i feel.. i guess i mixture of satisfaction, loniness, peace and trying-hard-to-pretend-to-be-busy...
as previous years, let's do a long recap by category:
health: getting better!! have been taking "ONCE A DAY" suppliments daily.. and i have been having breakfast for the past 2 weeks.. a good record. 4 bottles of water + hot tea a day. hope its not another 3-min-fever. but still need to work on my dinners.
family: superb! so much closer with dad. cow reminded me:" when did you start to have so much to talk to your dad?" i thought for a moment.. hai wor.. at least dad now complains that we don't call him, which he never did.. and he's been saying that he won't go traveling without me.. hehe.. super sweeet* its a good start~ the trip to van was.... umm.. good. not perfet, but i m glad we went. At least the trip make us all realize that we do care for each other and us in HK really really wish those in van to come back and celebrate and dine together. I think I have successfully convinced mom and dad to move out, provided that one of u is coming back. So looking forward to this day. Now they are tempting me to go back to china every 2weeks. haha. I will try, at least food's much better there. Yehyeh's getting worse lately, and the last time we visited him, he kept on saying bad things.. he's been staying on bad for years, complaining about the pain, not being able to walk/talk properly.. and now, he can't even recognize each of us without hints.... so, is it that our selfishness forcing him to stay alife? does he really want to continue the pain and the pressure from his sons? I am sure we will all be upset if he's not here physically with us, but will it be better off if we suffer for awhile and him being relieved?
siblings: *new catergory.. haha.. just thought it'd be nice to express my thankyous towards my sisters! they've all been super helpful and caring. esp they know no one's spending time with me on special days, they've offered themselves to me.. i think this yr is our closest year and i hope this close-iness lasts forever. Also, finally, i saw ah fung.. he's changed a lot and i feel a bit sorry for him. he has the potential... but... ai.. wish him luck.. Heyden's getting much cuter. he's SHARING HIS FOOD! i think its a very good start.. ahhahahahaha..
relationship: umm.. william's the only one this yr. hahaha. everyone asked why. I am not sure either. Trust me, i've tried, but i think the last dinner we had says all.. I am sure he could feel it too. ya, I promise that I will find a better one than you.. its.. umm... hard I know.. but i will still try.. muahahahah* Actually I am not in a hurry to find one boyfriend. Of course I do feel loney sometimes, but i guess i m getting used to it now.. at least i m not calling everyone just because I want to make a phone call. I am more patient, more careful, and more selective: I am looking for THE ONE.. getting married, have kids.. hahaha.. anyways, my incapability of expressing myself needs to be improved though. I think i've missed several chances already. BUT, my motto: "if its ur's, it will forever be; if not, it will never be." Follow fate! I always believe things are all set for us, we will just have to follow with our faith and be content.
friends: hahaha.. close with a lot of them again as usual. I am seriously a "heavy colour light friends" person and i said i shouldn't be before, but just can't help myself. Always glad to have them by my side when i need them. Cow's the one i want to apologize here. Despite of the troubleSSS u brought me, he's the only one I fat pey fey at other than william and i wanna thank him for taking them all in. Met several new close ones too and I dono what I would do without them: nancy and cheryl. you guys are the reason I am still in bloomberg. I hope that our IBs are not being monitored. :p
career: umm.... its always difficult when I still have not decided on what I want to do. There's always ups and downs about job regardless where or what you do.. I understand that. But that's only to the ones who are desperate; I am not, i stilll have choices (which I hate). I can always change. I've once thought of resigning before I even find another one but is it worth changing because of one particular person's stupidity and nonsenses? I am feeling less motivated now, and I don't llike this feeling. So, as for job, I know I don't want to be in my position - yet no goals for now.
There. summary of my 2007. overall, its not that bad, at least i've got my masters and got my HKICS graduation. Still lazy though. all I do at home is facebooking. Need to get rid of that!!! umm.. jobhunting? haha.
I mean, let's go back to the topic:"what's the pt of living?" i think i said sth like "being happy". But actually, being happy involves a lot. $ to get everything u want =happy. what is the pt of getting all the $ but u have to work til midnite? I am not THAT greedy, just 1, or 2, or 3 bags every yr would be fine. hahahaahahaha.. so i think happy to me's just having the time to spend my parents, my future family; enuf $ so that we won't be starving; umm.. and... haha.. not having a lot of choices for me to choose from.
I have never been to a cementry (forgot the vocab - where they burn the bodies). and I was thinking a lot of things on my way there and back. She spent all of her lifetime working 2 jobs raising her 2 kids, taking good care of her sickk husband. and now her 2 kids are ready to work and she could relax a lil, she's gone.
then on the way back, kinda funny, my dad said he wants to change cars, change house and buy super expensive things. haha. he said every person has a range of living standards that 10k income is having 10k living lifestyle; 100k should be having a 100k life.
anyways. he has his pts, but he never does. he saves a lot, but for what? "the money's never urs if you are not spending it!" now that us 3 are almost ready to be independent, I suggested them to work less and spend more time with me, at least cook me a meal once a mth. but, i guess not for another while.. haha..
ok. that's it for now. update again soon.. o i m thinking to update on facebook instead starting 2008. keep everything in one place ma....
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! have a great 2008!
and in the coming yr:
1. China wins lots of gold metals in olympics!!
2. yehyeh getting better and better and better.
3. parents to be content and happy..
4. brothers grad soon!
5. ALL MY WISHES COME TRUE~
cheers & with lots of love, ukei
PS POST COMMENTS ON FACEBOOK INSTEAD~
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| umm.. havn't updated for awhile la..
i m so much closer to my family and friends now.. not sure if this is a good sign tho.. coz usually, i m closer to them because i don't have a bf.. ahhaah.. i m a typical heavy colour light friends person...
my birthday was a blast.. really need to thank everyone who came, or said happy bday to me.. and finally i m 24 now. its an age of ..... dono-wut-to-do....
i know i always say i m wishing for a cute, rich, nice, caring, sweet kinda bf... ai.... and i have no idea why nancy and mae say i m picky... i m not actually.. ahhaha.. go take a look at my ex-es...
ummmm... too lazy to write now.. its too coldddd... | | |
| been in van for 5 days now!~ its good.. despite of the stupid start with the customs... its ALL GOOD with the family again! took several family pics finally.
been to places i used to go... hahaha.. and i don't remember the roads arleady.. i had trouble driving to DUK GA from home..
went to places i've never been before either.. True confections.. the cake was HUGE! but the driver got caught on speeding........ but it was only 101km/hr on Granville.. and he was charged with excessive driving??? wt*?? i think the government here's really in need of cash!~ fines EVERYWHERE!!!!!!
so..several dead fire again with the manual cars.. and i really had trouble with parking!!! i was driving like those aunties.. hahahaha! i m sure dad won't let me drive in hk after his seeing me driving like this... ><
tomorrow heading to the states!! yaya.. hope i can get sth nice and cheap la!!! gona be a 3-day-trip..
i think van has changed a lil.. dono.. perhaps its because of much less ppl i know now here.. only met candice and billy and some aunts since i came... still have the CCS group, jenny ga jeh, edward, david, bryne etc to gooo out with... really want to have a chance to meet up with as many peeps as i can these 2 weeks~
o.. and i went to our accountant's the other day.. he said we don't have to declare non-residence as long as we have proof saying we havn't been in van for these yrs... as long as we are not using the benefits........... not sure how that works.. but... i thought the CND government can charge tax on the $ earned outside canada??? umm........... wut should i do??
ummm.... anyways..
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| i doubt it.
It depends on where you want to go and what you want to be. If you don't want to go there, regardless how many "opportunities" in front of you, you wouldn't see them as "opportunities", instead, you would see them as obstacles blocking your way.
So, before you KNOW where you wanna be, life is meaningless.
that is the thing, the hardest in life I think. What do you want to be and how can you get there?
My life is meaningless.
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| i remember I used to write all my feelings before.. especially i was not happy....
i just want to say that I really thank you for everything u've done for me.. and again, you are the best, sweetest ever.
I don't know how this came along either.. but i thought it was the right time at the moment..
right after the second I said it, i was sure that i would regret someday in the future..
Tears keep falling whenever I think of the moments I "disliked", funny I actually find those sweet now. I closed my eyes and recalled the days you came over, the dvd's we watched and the HEROS you promised me during ur trip to the states... how much u've changed because of "us".
I have NO IDEA why I did it, why I was sooo stubborn and persistant..
there was some part inside me asking me to do so, but some other part told me it was a wrong move. Is it really?
That's why I've always hated decisions because of the repsonsibilities that come along with it. If i didn't make that decision, that I could've blame the result all to you.. but now.. regardless what happens, others would just be "told ya"..
Please show me the path that I should go. I really don't like this feeling.
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